Jessica Simpson is a breast man

There was a time when Jessica Simpson hated her ample chest. These days, she has made peace with the girls.

“I always felt they disabled me from what I wanted to do,” she said in a recent interview. “Now, I own them. They’re like wearing a great necklace.”

Jessica has said her breasts almost ruined her dream of pursuing a career as a singer because the men in her church thought her chest was too distracting for her to perform solos, although that says a lot more about Jessica’s church than it does about her chest.

However, they proved to be perfectly suited for her current career as a good-hearted pop bimbo.

“You can’t pay for that sort of accessory, though I know people do,” she continued. “But they never look as good at the real ones.”